Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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