Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
