i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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