He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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