Ambien. No doubt about it.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
