i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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