oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
