You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize