I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
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I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
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I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
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