dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
