Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
