I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She's like a pop up book from hell.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
