Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
