I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
