Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
