you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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