Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
