i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
