Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
