She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Im part way to drunk.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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