You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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