Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
