Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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