Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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