I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
