As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i think i have two assholes
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
