I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
