dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
