i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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