i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
