i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
