I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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