the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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