even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
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