never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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