So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
