we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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