Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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