just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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