My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
