OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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