woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
