I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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