What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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