Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
i've created a new STD.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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