I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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