you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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