he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
