its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
