I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
