I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
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Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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