and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
