I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
