Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
why do cheetos always look like penises
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
