Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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