I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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