You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
