OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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