My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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