so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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