I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
