Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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